Zombies, exams and childhood obesity


I, like most paediatricians you will ever encounter, have a truly comprehensive plan of action in the event of a zombie apocalypse. Bear with me.

Doctors have to do a lot of exams. By my rough estimation I’d say that they are required to do approximately all of the exams in the world, ever. Give or take one or two. This makes my colleagues and I experts, if in nothing else, on the practice of these, aforementioned, exams. Now, given the extent of my rather portentous knowledge in this area, I am willing to share with you, lucky reader, three absolute truths regarding exams: if the word ‘never’ or ‘always’ is in a true/false question, the answer is universally ‘false’; to be honest it is never, ever, likely to be option C; and finally, (make no mistake, this is by far and away the most important thing I have ever gleaned from years of studious efforts) following an examination people generally divide into two groups: sadists and ostriches.

The ostrich is a pleasure to be around. Having had information forcibly extricated from the dull grey matter sloshing around between his temporal bones he will calmly and charmingly proceed to forcibly stick his head into the proverbial sand and, much like a Continue reading “Zombies, exams and childhood obesity”